Thinking of Taking a Shot at Love?

I was reading a blog the other day that really got me thinking about relationships and why we choose the people that we do to be involved with. The author made a very viable point against a popular choice of words that are often heard from friends when it comes to picking someone out.

“Why don’t you just give them a shot? He/She seems nice enough.”

But there’s a big problem when it comes to giving someone a “shot” at a relationship–it’s their heart that’s involved. While I was unable to find the actual origins of the term “taking a shot at” something, we all understand the casual connotation that comes with it. One that’s far too casual for relationships. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t take a shot and go out on a date, but taking a shot on a commitment with someone you aren’t really feeling could be amazing…or could potentially be disastrous.

I know from experience.

While I was at my wonderful institution, I became good friends with guy I’ll call Bobby. Now, Bobby and I had a few things in common; we both loved music, were kinda geeky, and had a real love of recreational driving–it cleared our heads. We would have a lot of fun together and he would occasionally bring me around his family for dinners and such. Yeah, I know, I kinda set myself up for this, but he was a good friend-nothing more, nothing less. However, he wasn’t content with that…while I just wasn’t on that page.

When I consulted a friend about the whole situation she told me that I “might as well go for it” and harped on how we were “practically dating anyway.” For the record, we weren’t. We were friends. That’s all I wanted from the situation, but I decided to go against my logic and give it a shot.

Worst. Decision. Ever.

When you go into a relationship with someone, it shouldn’t be just because they like/love you. If the feeling isn’t mutual, you’re prone to be bitter or distracted because the person isn’t what you’re looking for–or else you’d have that same attraction. Now of course, sometimes these things do workout. Maybe you end up falling in love with the girl you never saw yourself with à la A Walk to Remember…or maybe it crashes and burns right in front of your eyes like 500 Days of Summer. Either way, when you’re playing the game of love, there are always risks–but you have to count the costs and see if you’re willing to risk a good friendship on what only has potential.

So is it worth the risk or are you better off keeping things platonic? Do you have any stories of how your chance of love went wrong? Or have you been in the lucky camp where your chance went amazingly well?

Love and Other Drugs

One of the beautiful things about having a blog is having the ability to shift it’s purpose. When I started this, I had every intent on making this a relatively impersonal type of thing, but as this summer has progressed, I’ve decided to change things. So yes, I’ll still be talking about news-y topics and of course I’ll continue to dish out opinions love and music, but I’ll also be writing things completely and totally for and about me, my life, and my experiences. This is just one of those posts…

I’ve always been less inclined to become emotionally attached to people…this is due to many circumstances, but primarily I would base this on the fact that I have come to understand that nothing lasts forever. I’ve moved around a ridiculous amount of times and after countless rounds of we’ll be friends forever and then watching that fizzle away, I learned that getting emotionally attached to anyone is probably not my best move.

Now, I’m not proud of this. It has made long lasting friendships almost impossible for me to maintain because of how quickly I’m willing to let go. This goes beyond friendships though, leaking into my romantic relationships.

However, I’m not immune to the disgusting sensation of butterflies in my stomach, though that would make my life much easier. I hate having crushes on people, it makes me absolutely stupid…there’s no other way to describe it. I’m unable to think straight, I never know what to say, I get antsy…it’s a pain in the butt if I must be quite frank. It messes with my productivity and as someone who enjoys seeing tasks get completed, I find it to be a relatively unsatisfactory experience–especially since the crush never lives up to the potential person that you’re hoping they would be.

Case in point–I had a crush on a specific guy recently. He isn’t a bad guy, he’s actually quite sweet, really intelligent, and also–unbeknownst to me–completely against dating black women. Okay–he’s not COMPLETELY against it, but he has his preferences of which white women happen to probably be at the to of the list. Am I mad about this? No…this actually probably is all for the best, because I was growing tired of our lackluster dialogue, but geez…another black man who doesn’t like black women? I’m hurt.

This seems to be something that black women tend to gripe about a lot, black men not wanting to be with black women, and while I’d hate to be a part of this group, I guess I took it personal with this guy. It brings in thoughts of that Kanye West line, you know the one from that fantastic piece of work, Golddigger:

So, stick by his side
I know there’s dude’s ballin, and yeah that’s nice
And they gon’ keep callin’ and tryin’
But you stay right, girl
And when he get on, he leave yo’ ass for a white girl

You betta tell ’em Kanye…you betta preach, *waves hand dramatically in the air*…so do we have a real reason to be mad? Really, I don’t think so. Just because a man doesn’t want to be with a black woman that doesn’t make him a bad person, it just means he wasn’t into you…try not to take it as a personal jab, just assume he only likes chicks who have hair that can reach their butt without extensions. That being said, what’s up with women who aren’t down with the swirl? You know what the swirl is, intermingling with other races. It seems that we’re so anti, but when it comes down to it, it could be a very nice alternative, I should know because I’ve been there.

So ladies and gentlemen, what’s the big point of this post? Get out of your feelings. Not just that, but embrace the people around you, because if all you’re doing is continuing to go to people that DON’T want you, you’re just going to be bitter about the love that could be standing right in your face with it’s blue-green eyes and short blond hair.

Oh, Tracy…

If you haven’t heard about it–get ready.

Apparently Tracy Morgan decided to let out his not so pleasant feelings about homosexuals in a standup routine in Nashville. How far did he go? Well apparently he went so far as to say that if his son was gay, he’s stab him to death. Yup–it’s that serious. Not only did he say that, but he decided to make his call on whether or not homosexuality was a choice or something you’re born with. In his words, “God ain’t make no mistakes,” meaning that it’s definitely a choice. He also was sure to mention how it was important for gays to “man up” and that if gay men could take a d*ck up their butt, they can take a joke.

Obviously this wasn’t going to go over very well with any LGBT organizations and GLAAD was sure to pounce which lead to Tracy’s apology.

“In speaking with his publicist, GLAAD has offered to arrange a meeting between Morgan and family members who have lost children to anti-gay violence,” GLAAD director of communications Rich Ferraro said in the statement. “We have also offered to arrange a meeting between Morgan and LGBT young people who have been hurt by parental rejection, in order to help him understand exactly why his rant touched so deep a nerve.”

Morgan released an apology to the press through a representative earlier this afternoon.

“I want to apologize to my fans and the gay and lesbian community for my choice of words at my recent stand-up act in Nashville,” Morgan said in the statement. “I’m not a hateful person and don’t condone any kind of violence against others. While I am an equal opportunity jokester, and my friends know what is in my heart, even in a comedy club this clearly went too far and was not funny in any context.”

What’s your opinion on the controversy? Do you think that his apology was enough?

Related articles

• Tracy Morgan Say He Would Kill His Son If He Was Gay: Tracy Morgan Apologizes for His Anti Gay Rant! (socyberty.com)
• Tracy Morgan: “I’d Kill My Son If He Was Gay” (hellobeautiful.com)